Live..Love..Life

rollercoasting

Like i said my life right now is jst rollercoasting..going up and down up and down

Ook so ya i FINALLY got the car ive always wanted (rsx type s of course ^_^) im super happy about that, but the bummer part was learning how to drive stick properly haha that was fun..but i guess im getting the hang of it now, still rough around the edges, but at least i can drive around now thats awesome also i jst got a new laptop today from fry's so im excited about that too cuz i wont havta write down my notes during class anymore ^_^ my god my hand always cramps up during my poli sci class cuz we havta write down practically every word the teacher says..:P but ya its all good now

okidokis now on to the bad stuffs..my familys a mess..i hate my job..still looking for another one..i feel so insecure sometimes when it comes to my bf..i hate the way i am now, how ive changed..i dont know whats wrong with me..i hate my life..

wow that felt good at the same time i felt like a emo depressed person again..dammit i really hate myself..i jst hope i dont go back to the person i used to be in highschool..well the bad part of myself that is..well i guess things are jst going dandy since good and bad things are happening at the same time that i feel nothing really

oo thats right..i never said what kind of classes im taking this semester, im taking:

Political Science 101, Anthropology 101, Anthropology Lab , Art History 113, English 103

ok heres the deal..

ok heres the deal..basically im done with my first year at fjc, not bad i guess. im now working at a place near my house, Guppy Teahouse which is ok because the people who work there and the customers are pretty chill. (theyre the main reason why im still working there lol) but ya i jst finished summer school like a week or two ago n now am looking for another job for the day time so i dont jst sit at home n waste my life away like i usually do (jk) ugh i guess ive been feeling pretty emo or like empty lately..it sucks..life sucks majorly..well maybe not completely, i mean like im in school (which still sucks but i havta finish it), have lots of friends (whom i barely see anymore cuz we're all so effin busy), working at a job which is pretty decent (but i could probably do better which is why im looking for another job), might get the car ive always wanted (rsx type s, but its hard to say since its hard enough to sell my car, C230 Benz - by the way if anyone is interested, hit me up  - that is if anyone even reads this thing lol), im in a relationship with a great guy, whom i love very much  but i dunno..i jst feel at most times now i guess that im not fulfilling my life anymre. like before i was so happy, but i dunno what happened to those feelings of happiness or fullfillingness ehh that sounds so corny -_- but seriously, i feel like im not really alive or that somethings missing but i dunno what..well i know that there have been a lot of problems with my family which i hate dealing with now..n at times i feel insecure but i wont say about what..and i guess i just dunno what to do about my life anymore..like i dont have a passion for anything or to do anything anymore. well i guess ill jst havta wait n see if anything happens or comes up cuz right now i feel like a lifeless person jst going about daily routines with no ambitions or goals even though i "do have goals" like getting a job or finishing school..i mean like everyone has goals set to do that..i jst wish i could find what is my career or passin to do something with my life or soemthing like that. blah..now im just ranting on and on..i guess ill stop here for now.. just thinking about it is getting me emo again..i wanna do something to get my mind off these things..but i dunno what.. ya i guess this is it for now. till next time. 

ook wow i havent been on here in like forever..but ya i felt like updating it so here goes...

hmm lets see where to start..well for the past school year i went to UTSA , obviously in Texas, so i was gone for about 9-10 months, i met lots of people n joined FSA n did whatever what not you do in your first year of college; came back on breaks to visit everyone back in cali esp my bf cuz i missed him ALOT while i was over there :( ; the school year ended in may so got to come back home for the summer; then alot of other things happened such as drama n other crap with family, friends, relationships..ya that kind of stuff, while i was back on vacation; and then turned out i get to stay in cali n transferred to FJC which is pretty cool cuz i really wanted to stay here back at home (but sometimes i wonder..) anyhoo so ya now its august n i start school really soon which sucks but doesnt either but i have a feeling that im gonna be really busy for the next coupla months maybe even years :\ oh well i guess thats the main stuff..oh ya me n Alex's 1st year anniversary passed on my bday that was cool; what else..oh n kathleen had her debut which was cool too; n i guess ill update this later on when more stuff happen..this year is gonna be pretty crazy so hopefully i can get thru it all..im out

'06!

YEAYUH the class of '06 has left the building!!! lol we're done w/ school! i cant believe that we're not in high school anymore..crazzy but ya soo much has happened over the past few months. first there was prom, which was awesome all because of my one n only date, Alex ;) we went to servites prom cuz canyons n servites were on the same day so i let him choose which one he wanted to go to. i had such a blast! it was one of the best nights of my life <3 then there was my birthday. this birthday was the best birthday EVER. it was on senior week after finals n we had debut practice after the senior breakfast. before practice alex gave me my bday present, which was a ipod nano :O THEN he made me turn around n one of his friends, nathan, was holding up a big cookie which asked me to be his girlfriend >.< eee! it was sooo cute i loved it! n of course i said yes lol after my bday there was gradutaion..yaAay im a big kid now! done w/ high school! my debut was that weekend n we had practice like everyday which was tiring but also a lot of fun :) the party was AWESOME everyone had a great time n everthing was perfect, couldnt be any better, all thanks to my awesome parents n court. now summers here n im gonna make the most of it; esp by hanging out w/ my boyfriend n friends, which ive been doing already lmao. this year went by so fast..it feels just like yesterday i was a freshman. but we're all gonna be freshies again in college, im going to UTSA(University of Texas in San Antonio) for a year w/ my mom n then transferring back to CA asap :) i guess thats it for now. this is getting pretty long so ya till next time ^_^V